Cracking myself up: What would actually expedite service...

~Tuesday~ I caught the city bus into work this morning, and as I exited my stop, a man was running toward me to catch the bus, which was now behind me and waiting for him.

I just started laughing as I heard the announcement that plays when the bus is stopped and the front door is open, while thinking about what it should be saying instead.

What the announcer's voice was actually saying: "In order to expedite service, please have your fare ready when boarding the bus."
But what I imagined the voice should be saying in this instance was: "In order to expedite service, please actually be at the stop when the bus arrives."