Now that's my kind of drug—or the rhetorical importance of juxtaposition and headings

~Wednesday~ My left knee (not to be confused with My Left Foot) started hurting "something terrible" (as they say down south) last night, and it wasn't much better this morning. I was out of ibuprofen so I ran to the store to get some.

Imagine my delight when I got home and read these instructions encouraging me to have some bourbon and diets every day while using the product!