DailyAfirmation (dailyafirmation) wrote,

  • Mood:

Calm nightmares, Zander on music and passion @ TEDxNCSU, and 1968 High School...

~Tuesday~  My alarm went off at 6:00, but I snoozed a couple of alarm cycles, probably due to the somewhat restless night of what, in retrospect I suppose, were nightmares. I say it that way, because I woke up at one point from them, but instead of my heart pounding and my mind racing like it usually does when I awake from such a thing, I was surprisingly calm.

I was in a lowly-lit room with a girl and a guy. The guy said something to the girl that was one of those things that could be devastating to someone with very low self-esteem who completely internalizes it instead of realizing that it's really about the person saying it.

The scene changed and I was in another room, along with the girl, and she was sitting on a stool by a shelf attached to the wall making a narrow bar, and her elbow rested on the bar while her hand extended up and rested along the right side of her face.

I said to her, "I hope you realize that what he said has nothing to do with you, but says everything about him."

She just stared straight ahead, didn't verbally respond, but her hand slipped down and it was immediately obvious that—although no one had seen or heard it—she had fired a shot into her right temple.

I woke up after this, but was calm as I mentioned, and when I fell back asleep about ten minutes later, the dream continued, which I hate.

I had called 9-1-1, and it was taking longer for someone to get there than I wanted, although I was about 99% sure the girl was dead. Just before the person dispatched arrived—in a car no less—I thought I saw the girl move a little.

The car pulled up and a little old man, who didn't look unlike Father Guido Sarducci, got out holding one of those old-fashioned black doctor bags, and he wore a stethoscope around his neck. I remember thinking, "Oh great. They thought she was dead already, so they sent an old guy who has obviously retired on the job and is no longer even keeping up with the latest medical advancements."

Convinced he wasn't going to be able to do anything to save the girl, I forced myself to wake up, which is an ability I have that I've discussed here before.

This time, I was determined not to have this dream continue when I fell back asleep, so I totally shifted my thoughts to something that's worrying me a little at this time, so I'd fall asleep thinking about that instead.

I drove into work this morning, arriving at 6:55, and I sat in my car for five minutes since I'd parked in a "Two-hour Only from 7AM-5PM" streetside parking spot. I carried in my 12-pack of soda, multipack bag of baked snacks (chips, tortillas, and pretzels), and family-sized bag of ginger snaps, which was my main reason for driving in.

I responded to some e-mail until about 8:30, when I drove my car back to the Avent Ferry Rd. / Gorman St. intersection and caught the Wolfline #9 Greek Village bus back to work.

I attended NC State's TEDxNCSU event all afternoon, and as expected, for the most part it was the mix of intellect and emotion that one would expect of a TED event. Every "TEDx" event requires 25% of its event to show videos from the "mother" (TED) organization, and this was one of the ones shown. Most of you will not take 20 minutes to watch it and listen to it, but you should, particularly if you've ever taken piano lessons, played any instrument, or hate classical music.

After that, at about 6:15, I had dinner in the university's Fountain Dining Hall, and then I went to see the Frederick Wiseman's 1968 documentary, High School, which was extremely controversial in its day.

The things that struck me the most about this movie included:

  1. How often the students were told what they should and should not think

  2. Gender role rigidity and oppression

  3. How context can make people believe things that are quite absurd

The Wolfline #1 Avent Ferry bus dropped me off at the corner of Avent Ferry Rd. and Gorman Street, and when I started up that rental car I'm still using, I had one thought, "My goal, just one time before I turn this car in, is to turn on the headlights without accidentally turning on the windshield wipers first."

I wanted to go to the gym tonight, but after not getting home until about 9:00, it didn't happen.

Instead, I hit the bed early and started a new book, American Sphinx: The Character of Thomas Jefferson, which is on this list of 10 Surprising Books That Will Transform Your Writing, and of which I'm trying to read most. (I am not going to read the first one on the list, the King James Bible.)

The reason this particular book is on the list is described as: "This psychological portrait of the sage of Monticello demonstrates two things: People like stories... and people really like stories about people. When writing, imitate the ebb and flow of people-centered tales to make what you write memorable."
Tags: books, lectures, movies, ted, work

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.