DailyAfirmation (dailyafirmation) wrote,

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A sickday, a good weigh-in, Craigslist discourse, a belligerent bully bear pun, & bro's birthday...

~Tuesday~ I woke up with a cough that felt like it sucked pure acid up through my esophagus, and a temperature of 99.7°, making me even more grateful to be able to work from home today.

I was particularly pleased with my weigh-in this morning, especially with the overeating done this past long holiday weekend. I'm down a total of ten pounds in the first two weeks (it's always faster losing in the beginning, not that I've done this a gazillion times in my life before), thanks to my commitment of getting to the gym more regularly now. Here's the tracking of my eating and exercise that I've been doing over in dailyburn.com. (Click to enlarge.)

For lunch, I got a hankering for some soup, and looking in my pantry, I found exactly three cans of Campbell's Old Fashioned Tomato Rice soup—not Tomato & Rice, mind you, but Tomato Rice. After my recent bout with the rancid chow mein noodles—do you see a trend in the food in my pantry—I decided to actually check to see if there was an expiration date on these cans, which revealed the following information, one on each can:

  1. November 24, 2010

  2. June 18, 2011

  3. August 18, 2011
Since I'm sick already, I went ahead and took a chance with the 6-day out-of-date one, which didn't taste like the metal can, so that's good. We'll see what the night and morning bring.

Warning: In this following section, the three links to sections of the Craigslist website can easily lead to Not Safe For Work text and images. Not only that, the M4M part tells you that it is going to be gay, gay, gay stuff. Please click only with intent and forethought, as it's not necessary to go there to understand what follows.

The link to "discourse community" is totally safe and has nothing to do with sex. It's the three after that one that have the potential to become problematic.

Some day, I swear, I'm going to do a rhetorical study (No, really!) of the discourse community known as the M4M Missed Connections on Craigslist. This is a gem of a posting, although technically, it actually belongs in the Men Seeking Men section or the Casual Encounters section, as there hasn't yet been a connection to miss:

landman seeking hungman - m4m - 50 (raleigh)

I'm looking for a younger man with something long. I'm needing a discreet relationship. In the car, in a bar, behind the dumpster i don't fuck hers - just hims. white male, 50s, peppered hair. Must keep discreet as i am involved in several situations.

Let me put a look of:

on everyone's faces that this gentleman, and I do use that term loosely, is "involved in several situations."

Knowing how much I love puns, my friend Steve H. e-mailed me this joke:

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings.

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings."

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, but we especially don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear looks at him quizzically and says, "I'm not on drugs."

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a bar-bitch-you-ate."

I ran to K-Mart near my house to pick up some Theraflu, grabbing a coupon for "$4.00 off any Theraflu product," that I ominously received some time last week upon checkout. That shit must be expensive if they're offering $4.00 off the price!

When I got there, I discovered that I'd evidently put the coupon down to grab my keys or something else, and I didn't have it. As if to appease me, when I got inside, I couldn't find any Theraflu on the shelf. I settled for this instead:

In spite of not feeling well, I did make myself go to the gym, where I did 300 (15 sets of 20) ab crunches, followed by 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical machine.

I spent an hour-and-a-half or so editing a grad school paper for my friend, Jen, during which the time just flew by. I must have been in flow, the kind articulated by psychology professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. [← Check out the help in pronouncing his name at the beginning of that Wikipedia entry! LOL!]

Today was my brother's 54th birthday, and the day that he "takes back the lead." Since we were born only 10 months and two weeks apart, we're the same age from October 13th through November 30th.
Tags: affirmations (implicit), exercise, grad school, gym, health, puns, work from home

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