~Friday~  I was really behind this morning. I caught a Wolfline bus, close to 9:00. It was more crowded than I thought it would be, as it would arrive on campus too late for a 9:00 class. It was crowded enough that the aisle filled up to the point that eventually someone completely obstructed my view of the hottie sitting in the seat across from me. I hate it when that happens.

I always say, "Good morning," to my officemate, Rhonda, when I arrive at work. Since I rarely arrive after 9:00, but did today, I said, "Good afternoon, Rhonda" as I came in and she cracked up. That told me that she was already thinking, "A little late today, aren't we?" The heartiness of the laugh is always directly proportional to how true the joke rings with the person laughing.

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I had a 30-minute meeting that started at 10:30, which I'd scheduled earlier in the week. It ended up taking over an hour, but we got a lot done, so that's good.

I took the #1 Avent Ferry Wolfline bus over to the Mission Valley shopping center at lunch time, where I joined Kim, Anna, and Brad for a mini-salon at Cup A Joe's. In addition to a cup of coffee, I had their Portobello Mushroom on Focaccia sandwich, which was just yummy.

Regardless of where we meet, the salon now has a running streak of having people sitting around us feeling complled at some point to interject into our topic of the moment. Today was no exception. Anna and Kim were trying to remember the name of some actor that played on some show, and a guy sitting next to us ejaculated with the answer.

As always, a rapid and chaotic mixture of topics and commentary took place. At one point Kim shared, that due to a bout with insomnia last night, Netflix offered up the documentary Pageant, which she and Carlos ended up watching. This, of course, made me squeal, "OMG, Victoria Porkchop Parker, and that rendition of And I'm Telling You from Dreamgirls."

Victor Bowling/Victoria Parker/Porkchop AGE: 36   FROM: Nashville, TN PROFESSION: Professional Female impersonator - www.myspace.com/victoriaparker Victor was born in Anderson, SC. His birthmother gave him up for adoption soon after birth and he was raised by his paternal grandparents in Fayetteville, NC. As a child, Victor would burst out into song or dance at any given chance. He was involved in regional theater and show choir, and entered every talent show or event that was possible. In high school he was selected into the Smith 16, a show choir that traveled throughout the east coast entertaining and winning many competitions. He was encouraged early by his music teacher Sharon McNair to pursue a career in entertainment. She said "he was a standout at every performance" and "he had that extra something that most entertainers would kill for.” The first night he ever went to a gay bar there was a drag show. He realized at that moment that female impersonation was for him. Victor has worked on cast at many of the greatest drag shows in the country:“Legends Raleigh, NC,” “The Connection Louisville KY,” and “The Chute Nashville TN.” He has also traveled the country entertaining the masses. He has entertained in over 35 states and has been lucky enough to capture the title of almost 100 pageants, including four national titles. Victor has appeared on "Life’s a Drag" "My Life is a Sitcom" and "Extra".

And that reminded me of the early drag show tonight at Legends, and a quick check confirmed that Victoria was performing tonight. Five minutes later, it was all set—a mini-salon meeting at Legends tonight at 9 for the 9:30 show. Excellent.

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I arrived at Legends at about 8:55 and waited in the parking lot for the others. Anna, Sarah, Kim, and Carlos all arrived right around 9:00. At 9:05 we checked in with Brad and he was just leaving home. We love him anyway. We got a round of drinks waiting on Brad. Just when I was going to go outside to check on him, he came walking in from the Legends side. I gave him the infamous "Vagina Friendly" button to wear just to make everything clear.

We took our seats in the Spotlight Theater, with the group all coached that they were not to respond to these two questions that were sure to come out of Victoria Porkchop Parker (VPP from here-on out): "Where my straight people tonight?" and "Anyone here for the very first time?"

VPP came on stage and immediately started looking around on the floor of the stage, "I've dropped a goddamn nail," she said perturbed. "It's a thumb, too. You pay $5.95 for a pack of nails and there are only two thumbs in the package." I guess that's odd to people who buy them, but to me, my thought is, "Well, we only do have two thumbs." She was kind of funny, though, because you could tell by the amount of time she spent looking for it that she really wanted to find that thing.

There were way too few people at the 9:30 show to avoid the inevitable. "Where my straight people tonight," VPP asked, and looked right over to our table of six. My good peeps did not call out, though, and she moved on to, "Who's here for the first time tonight?" Again, crickets.

She wasn't buying it and made her way over to our table and said looking right at the group, "You've been here before?" Anna broke down and said pointing at me, "He told us not to admit that we're here for the first time." She had fun with that, and finally moved away from our table after a few minutes of picking on us.

             Dana St. James


The show was great, and as always, Dana St. James didn't fail to entertain with her huge breasts, and tonight with her genius of working the combination of what must have been an entire roll of duct tape and opening and closing her sheer skirt to show off its magic results long enough to make you ask, "My god, where is it?" She puts the hide in, "Hide the sausage."

After the show, we played a couple of fun, fun games of pool, and we took a moment to toast a friend of Etta's who used to do drag at Legends and is now doing drag in heaven. RIP, Bobbi.

Before anyone was allowed to leave, I absolutely insisted on playing some Word Dojo (go on, click on that, and watch the Dojo balls drop) with this over-educated, word-nerd, learning-loving, and sometimes competitive group.

Brad, Anna, and I stayed for the midnight drag show, too. Overall, it was a fun, fun, fun night!