I'm surprised at how much of an effect the death of my friend's husband has had on me. I've spent some time thinking about why that is, and I want to capture some of my thoughts about that here. Just to avoid pronoun (i.e., "he") confusion I'm going to use names. Will is the guy I've talked to online. His husband was Tony, whom I've never spoken to online.
- Without a doubt, one of the reasons that this has affected me is because Tony died of a brain tumor. Several years ago, I lost an IBM colleague and friend, Kurt, to brain cancer, and I had some of these same feelings then. I value my intellect so much, and it just seems that brain cancer is a direct attack on that.
- The second thing that strikes me about brain tumors is the speed. Kurt's tumors first manifested themselves as massive migraines, and he died a little less than a year later. Though Tony's tumor was thought to be benign, at least as it's described on the My Story page of his CaringBridge site, it first manifested itself as a severe hearing loss over a few months, was found to be huge and had to be removed in scheduled surgery on August 12th, and he died on or around August 17th. Fast.
- This final posting on Tony's CaringBridge journal page moves me in several ways: the love of a sister, Tony's commitment to life even in death as an organ donor, and Tony's last thoughts about light.
Sunday, August 16, 2009 1:26 PM, PDT
My friend Mel died from cancer, although I don't know what kind. Mel just turned 52, and he takes me back to this period of my life:
when I led the band, and Mel as part of the percussion section, in the Lejeune High School Marching Band.
Rest in peace:
I met Joe at Helios at 9:00, where we had a cup of coffee before heading over to Flex for Disco Inferno night. Gary was the DJ and he did a great job.
In a complete reversal of last night, when I knew about 3 songs from the 80s all night, I knew almost all of tonight's songs. I danced through the late 70s, with some of my fondest memories being of disco dancing with my sister in downtown Greenville (NC) college bars, the year I was a senior and she was a freshman.