Some great things I've heard or read over the past couple of days:
- "I'm at a loss for words as to what to say when God sneezes."
- "If you see a turtle on a fencepost, it's because someone put it there."
- "She uses research like a drunk uses a light post—not for illumination, but for support."
mylifeisaverage.com is one of my new favorite websites. Here are a few that really made me laugh:
- Today, I shaved my legs only where my pants have holes. Nobody noticed. I feel like I've beat the system.
- Today, I found out that my last name means "south of the woods." I then realized that my neighbors, the Woods, live north of me. So essentially I live south of the Woods. I was thoroughly pleased by this.
- Today, I used 'I Can't Believe it's not Butter' so that if people ask me "how was breakfast?" I can reply, "unbelievable".
- Today, I read an autobiography. In the back of the book there was a small paragraph entitled, "About the Author." I laughed.
- Today, my family and I were traveling. Because of the time change, we arrived to our destination the same time we left. I felt like a time traveler.
- Today, I heard my text message alert and realized it was the guy's phone from another table in a restaurant. I spent 30 enjoyable minutes playing my own alert under the table and watching him check his phone.
I took advantage of being able to get to the gym before the after-work crowd. About a month or so ago, they changed their cellphone policy at Planet Fitness, at least at the one I go to.
Obviously everyone hasn't gotten the word yet. Today, a guy was standing right in front of one of the water fountains talking on his phone. On the wall above the water fountain the sign said:
As a courtesy to those exercising,
I so wished I worked there at that moment. I would have gone up to the guy and pointed to the sign above his shoulder.
I only did 200 ab crunches today (10 sets of 20 reps) and followed that up with some floor stretches, concentrating mostly on legs, with a couple of them for the lower back. After that, I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, burning 573 calories. Who's counting?
I asked Joe to meet me out at the airport to greet Robert's flight so that I could drive his car out there, saving him 45 minutes to an hour worth of time coming back to Raleigh just to ride back to Durham. Then, Joe took me home.
Robert was a dear, and brought Wisconsin cheese (jalapeño cheddar!) back for me, and a small jug of Maple Hollow Wisconsin Pure Maple Syrup.
I read some more of Anna Karenina before bed, and I've begun to see the light at the end of this very long tunnel.