DailyAfirmation (dailyafirmation) wrote,

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An economic recovery priced lunch, missing a poster session, a joke, and some fun dancing...

Agriculture Awareness Week continued today with lunch on the Brickyard:

On Wednesday March 18 the Poultry Science Club will be cooking and serving lunch on the brickyard.

Plates include a healthy serving of fresh grilled turkey tenderloin and turkey sausage with green beans, potatoes, bread and a dessert with iced tea or water.  All for an economic recovery price of $5. Serving starts approximately 11:30 until all plates are sold.

Hope to see you on the brickyard,
NCSU Poultry Science Club

I intended to drop by the McKimmon Center to see the work for two people I know who were presenting posters in the annual Graduate Student Research Symposium. However, I thought it ended at 5:00, but found out that it ended at 4:00, so I missed it. Bummer.

Walmart Does It All

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Walmart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Walmart."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe begins wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixes some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. He hurries back to Walmart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

  1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

  2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

  3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

  4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

  5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping at Walmart.

Dancing was a lot of fun tonight. We had a decent number of dancers, and several people taking the lessons. We reviewed Zorba, and learned a new dance, the name of which escapes me at the moment.
Tags: bar talk, dancing, exercise, work

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