DailyAfirmation (dailyafirmation) wrote,

Hanging out...

I had a bizarre e-mail exchange today about a question a person in my class asked me yesterday during class. After whispering something to me that I didn't understand, she slipped me a piece of paper while the professor was lecturing and on it, it said:

Let's hang out.

Yes     No

At the time, I mouthed, "Let's talk about it later."

My e-mail to her today:

Hi [name],

Just a quick note about your question in class yesterday about "hanging out."

Sorry to have put you off then, but it was for a couple of reasons:

The first being, I don't like "talking" in class as I feel very disrespectful of the professor when I do (so call me old-fashioned, well I AM old). :-)

I have noticed that she gives the eye to people who are doing it, so I know she doesn't appreciate it, and she actually called Jennifer and somebody on it once -- asking them to stop talking. I don't want to be embarrassed like that.

Also, I learned after the last midterm that it's important to take notes when she's covering things, particularly on her slides, even though she tells us we really don't have to worry about it, because she'll be posting the slides later. She does provide the slides, but many things we cover about the points on the slide are, of course, not on there, and I felt I needed some of those points on the last midterm.

So when I'm trying to listen and take notes and we talk, I'm not listening well (to you) because I'm trying to make sure I don't miss anything important that she says, which makes me have to ask you to repeat, which makes the distraction longer, etc.

So, for all of those reasons, I'd prefer not to talk during class, including sliding notes back and forth, because I noticed her glance down at that when we did it yesterday.

Sorry if this all sounds too "he's a goody-goody two shoes student," but that's how I feel about it. I'm happy to talk before and after class.

The second reason I hesitated to answer the question was that I really wasn't sure what you meant by "hanging out." (Again, call me old-fashioned.) :-)

I am a very "practical" person (scored VERY high on the "S" of the Myers-Briggs assessment, if that means anything to you), and with our schedules and where we live, I'm not sure how it's even possible at all. (You've seen my calendar.) :-)

I work 40 hours per week, including up until class every day. I have social commitments in the evenings on Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and every other Saturday evenings. And then there's that silly little matter of homework time.

You live in Durham (and have no car if that's still the situation) and I live in Raleigh. It looks like you have class following the class we're in together (at least you do on Wednesday's, since you said you were going to one until 8:45 as we were leaving class yesterday).

SO -- with all that... I'm thinking ***WHEN*** (and how and where) were you thinking about "hanging out"?

With all that said, I enjoy our conversations when we have them, and thought we hit it off very well when we met in the library, so please know that I think you're a fun person -- there's no question about that. I just don't see, how, from a practical standpoint, we can "hang out" unless there's some definition of that that I'm not getting.


A few hours later, I got this response:


I first want to apologize for making you feel uncomfortable. Second...I don't get offended very easily. I just meant we should have lunch one day when we're both on campus. Simple as that.. I just got my van back on Tuesday. Anyhoo....let me know when you have a noon free and we'll go from there. I am still just as fun in my eyes.

:) No worries Amigo

My first thought was, "That was nice to apologize for making me uncomfortable in class, and I appreciate it."

My next thought was, "Lord. Is that what "hanging out" means? Why not just say, "Let's have lunch some time!"

My third thought, "Okay, I said I work every day before coming to class. So exactly when are we both going to be on campus at lunch time?"

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