Washington Post - yearly contest - alternate meanings
Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. And the winners are . . .
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
I ran to the post office today before noon to get Friday's opera tickets in the mail to Mary, so they'll make it in plenty of time. I did some editing work for a couple of hours today. Robert and I did a crossword puzzle (from the 5/19/05 Independent) before he left for work. He worked from 4-8 today.
I got to dancing at about 8:30. It turned out to be quite the festive evening. Dancing was great, and we stopped at about 10:50. It got unbelievably crowded in there. I know they exceeded the "Not to exceed 99 persons" in the place for the fire code.
We went over to CCs, where I proceeded to drink too much. At one point, I was lying down on the loveseat in the piano bar. Joe came in and said, "HONEY, the bus will be here at any moment. Sit up."