October 1st, 2006

Podcast sync, diva mix ID, corporate euphemisms, a walk at the lake, and George's goodbye...

I met Joe at Panera Bread, where I was a sitting geek alert with two laptops. A couple of people felt obligated to make a comment as they walked by. One guy said something about a lot of technology, and I reached down on the seat and said, "Yeah, and I have my iPod and my Palm Pilot here, too."

I got my podcast downloads caught up, and deleted the ones I've listened to. All set to go again, whenever I can find time to listen to some.

I spent more time than I wanted to upgrading iTunes, uploading a CD someone made for me I don't know when with "Diva Mix" written on it. I didn't recognize most of the songs, so Joe put my ear buds in and he did "Name That Tune."

With a little help from Google, he nailed all 15 songs:

Simply the BestTina Turner
From This MomentShania Twain
No More "I Love You's"Annie Lennox
ButterflyMariah Carey
I'm Gonna Be StrongCyndi Lauper
Cry Like a RainstormLinda Rhondstat
To Deserve YouBette Midler
Force Behind the PowerDiana Ross
Tell HimBarbra Streisand & Celine Dion
It's Not RightWhitney Houston
Whatever You Want Me To DoTina Turner
Save Up All Your TearsCher
Heaven Is What I FeelGloria Estefan
I'm Coming OutDiana Ross

I just can't fathom who gave me this CD. Adam and Van are the only guys to have ever given me CDs as far as I can remember, but this so doesn't sound like their kind of music. For one thing, there's not one song on it by Dolly Parton.

slate.com has announced their follow-up on their "corporate euphemisms" contest. Here are some I liked.

These are euphemisms for "layoff":
  • She's been urged to be successful elsewhere.
  • He's in transition to the competition.
  • She's been promoted to customer.
  • He's been uninstalled.
  • She's on eternity leave.
Writing recommendations for people you really can't endorse, you can use these:
  • I really can't say enough good things about him.
  • I could not give this applicant a higher recommendation!
  • If you can get her to work for you, you will be lucky.
To serve you better as a corporate euphemism:
  • To serve you better, we've removed all humans from the bank lobby and replaced them with ATMs.
  • To serve you better, we've added a ticket charge to an online transaction that actually costs us less to complete.
There was even a corporate euphemism for "winning a contract": "exclusively downselected," which ironically, sounds like a bad  thing.

The corporate euphemism "winner" was not funny, but accurate, and it's a euphemism for outsourcing: "labor arbitrage."

Quick definitions (arbitrage)

noun:   a kind of hedged investment meant to captures light differences in price; when there is a difference in the price of something on two different markets the arbitrageur simultaneously buys at the lower price and sells at the higher price

I walked around the lake today, and listened to a bunch of podcasts during the hour's time. The Onion Radio News remains one of my favorite podcasts. They're just so irreverent sometimes. These three podcast titles alone, made me laugh:
  • Cash-Strapped Suicide Hotline Lets Curious Listen In For $1.99 a Minute
  • Crazy Uncle Makes Good Point About Bitch Aunt
  • Two-Week Bender Just Flies By

I met Joe at Flex at around 8:00, where we played several games of pool, including two games of cut-throat with Randy, who's "back on the market."

At around 10:00, we walked up to Snoopy's, where we split a chicken-salad sandwich and an order of fries.

Kevin (av8rdude) arrived at about 10:30.

It was George's last night. He's moving to Portland, leaving on Tuesday.