A Day in the Life: Digital Digressions

We The Animals...

2013-06-16T23:51:21Z

~Friday~ Back in Wednesday's entry, I mentioned I'd finished the first book in the 27 Must Have Queer Summer Reads, We the Animals, and that I'd share my thoughts on it in a later post.

Well this is it.

So, this is the introduction to the book in Wikipedia:

We the Animals is the debut novel by the American author Justin Torres, published in 2011. It is a bildungsroman about three wild brothers who live a rough and tumble childhood in rural upstate New York. Their father is Puerto Rican and their mother is white. The youngest brother is the protagonist and eventually breaks away from the rest of the family at the end of the novella.

From that description, I was grateful to learn the word bildungsroman, although it's not one that's going to easily come back to me when I want to use it. I will, however, remember that there is a single word for "a coming of age story."

My thoughts and observations of the book:

Before encountering each on this list, I'd never heard of this book or this author.

If this book is indeed autobiographical, oh my god, what a childhood this author had.

Although I'm usually tuned in to these type of things, I must admit that I didn't at all notice this criticism in a New York Times review: "One of Mr. Torres’s few literary tics is a slight overuse of the semicolon in the early chapters; perhaps it’s catching?"

There were times in this book that I couldn't tell if things were really happening, or rather, I found it hard to believe that they were happening. An example of this was when the three boys were in the bathtub and the parents were in the bathroom, too, and the parents started having (admittedly trying to be discreet) sex right then and there. That scene is actually mentioned in the review, too, described this way:

Scenes that thrum with violence can suddenly turn tender too, and the brutality of their father’s behavior isn’t the whole story. In one striking scene he gives the boys a loving bath before suddenly turning his attention to his wife. The boys, still huddled in the tub, cower in silent awe and confusion as their parents begin to make love.

I liked that fact that one of the brothers' name is "Manny," as that's my dad name, short for Manuel.

I loved the scene when the family needs a new car, and the father comes home with a pick-up truck. The whole time I'm thinking, "Oh my god. That is so impractical." The reaction and action that ensues covers the gamut, highlighting the pragmatic versus the dreamer, the live for the present versus the plan for the future, and all of the hopes and dreams in between.

I liked the fact that although the protagonist—the narrator—in this story is gay, and it is of course an aspect of his "coming of age," it really comes across as being in the background of this story.

This was a good start to trying to get through this list. It was short, easy-to-read, and well-written.

I have requested the second one, The Velvet Rage, from the Wake County Public Library. I anticipate it being available for pick-up on Monday, June 17.

Very entertaining: Murder at the Howard Johnson's...

2013-06-15T16:13:36Z

~Thursday~

Synopsis: Is all fair in love—even murder? Self-absorbed Arlene is married to blundering car salesman Paul, who adores her. Arlene’s lover Mitchell, a dentist who fancies himself an irresistible ladies’ man, joins her to plot the murder of her husband. But wait—a betrayal shifts the alliances and the intended victim. A rambunctious suspense comedy in a Howard Johnson’s Motor Inn, where the target keeps changing and the laughs keep coming!

I left my house at about 6:00 this evening, with a wicked storm approaching, arriving at Thompson Hall on NC State's campus and parking in the adjacent deck to protect my car from any hail that might result as part of the storm.

I hung out in the lobby of the Kennedy-McIlwee Theater and killed an hour using the campus' free wi-fi and out of the elements of the storm as it blew through.

At the time I purchased my ticket, which was on Monday, I got the last ticket in the very center of the front row. There ended up being an empty seat to my left, and an elderly couple sat to my right, the man next to me and his wife to his right.

After starting 3-5 minutes late, and listening to that (I'm sure he's a very nice) man who always gets up in front of the shows in this theater series and talks way too long, the show finally started. If you're going to go on that long, start your speech at 7:20.

I thoroughly enjoyed this show. I cackled. I laughed. It became a part of me.

I just checked the Wikipedia entry on this show, and I was surprised by a couple of things:

It's a 1979 play.

After 10 preview performances, the play opened on Broadway on May 17 and closed three days later after only four more performances.

Some of the things that I liked about this play:

All three of the main characters, as well as the actors playing them.

The actor playing one of them, as well as the director of this show, are both long-time friends of Manbites Dog Theater.

Another friend of mine did the scenic design for this show.

That the characters had New York accents, and I thought the actors did well with them.

Although—in retrospect—it was predictable, I didn't anticipate the "complete round" of murder attempts that would take place during this show.

The ditzy female character was very well-played.

And, oddly, one of the things I enjoyed the most about this performance didn't take place on the stage, but in the seat to my right. I loved listening to the man of that elderly couple just cackling into his hand at various lines and antics taking place on stage.

He reminded me of one of those curmudgeony old men who'd rather die than show any emotion, but you could tell he couldn't help himself from laughing at what was going on and being said at times during the show.

I would recommend that you go see this show, but I don't want to tease you, because all of the remaining shows are sold out, including extra shows they've added due to its popularity.

27 Must Have Queer Summer Reads: The journey begins...

2013-06-13T16:44:39Z

~Wednesday~ Several weeks ago now, I came across 27 Must Have Queer Summer Reads, undoubtedly pointed to on the feed of one of my Facebook friends or Twitter friends.

Now, I know people who have committed to read lists of books, the most impressive by far, being my friend Glenn Hunt, who has this note in the "About me" section of his blog: Read Watch Write Sleep Repeat.

As you may notice, I really like lists. I am currently working my way through the 100 Best English Novels of the 20th Century and the 100 Best Movies (1998 and 2007 rankings) lists.

I've never read a list of books, and I'm not sure I would have thought to try it, if I hadn't been familiar with Glenn's endeavor, but here I am thinking about trying to, maybe, commit to reading this list. Enough qualifiers on that?

With that said, I've already encountered enough negative speak in my head to worry about how successful I'll be, some of it being:

Two of the books are graphic novels, which I am very not fond of.

Eight or so of them either are, or seem to be, Lesbian stories. Not that there's anything wrong with Lesbian stories.

I am not a foodie, so I have my doubts about number 7 on the list, Spoon Fed.

I'm torn about the only book on the list that I've read, torn for two reasons: 1) I'm not one for re-reading books, and 2) That book was actually far from my favorite David Sedaris book; I would have put Me Talk Pretty One Day on that list before Barrel Fever.

The previous item being on the list makes the overall list suspect—just a little, at least.

I have a compulsion to read these books in order, and I'll at least start that way.

Speaking of compulsions, that's what's making me feel like I have to re-read the one book on the list that I've already read, but I might get over that by the time I reach that selection, since it's halfway down the list.

Here are the titles of the books if you haven't already visited the link above:

We the Animals
The Velvet Rage
Tiger, Tiger
The Swimming Pool Library
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
If You Follow Me
Spoon Fed
The Price of Salt
So Many Ways to Sleep Badly
Girl in Need of a Tourniquet
The Mysteries of Pittsburgh
Fun Home
Forgetting Elena
Barrel Fever
A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend
Eminent Outlaws
Chelsea Girls
Confessions of a Fairy's Daughter
Two Serious Ladies
Funeral Rites
People in Trouble
At Swim, Two Boys
The Year of Ice
Strangers in Paradise
Many Waters
The Song of Achilles
I Am Not Myself These Days

I have actually completed We the Animals, and I'll blog about it in soon.

I have requested The Velvet Rage from the library, and I'm first on the request list, which means I just have to wait for it to be transferred to my library, which usually takes a day or two.

If I were half the men Google Alerts thinks I am...

2013-06-11T03:36:14Z

~Monday~ As I would recommend you do if you don't already, I have a Google Alert set up on my name—both on John Martin and nematome—and once a week I get an email report from Google telling me how and where I'm being talked about on the web.

According to this week's report, at any one time you might have seen me—or someone with my shared moniker—doing or involved in these things:

You might have read any of several of my stories published in my "Straight Sets" Tennis Blog in The New York Times this week:
- The June 4, 2013 one: Townsend's Whirlwind Day Includes a Fast Win, and an Award.
- The June 5, 2013 one: Cara Black, a Doubles Wizard, Shows She Is Back.
- The June 7, 2013 one: After a Three-Story Fall, His Tennis Career is at Stake.
- The June 8, 2013 one: Bryans Beat a French Team to Win at Roland Garros.

You may have learned, in the Chicago Sun-Times, that I was headed to Dartmouth after graduating this weekend, finishing my 6-foot-6 "brains behind the brawn" career playing in the state boys volleyball tournament on Friday, checking in with three "kills." Here I am, presumably, mid-kill:

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Or perhaps you caught my two stories on Fox 21 News out of Colorado Springs:
- The June 4, 2013 one: Kitty compatibility quiz for the Pikes Peak Humane Society.
- The June 6, 2013 one: WEB EXTRA: Mayor Bach Interview.

Fortunately this was a "false positive" one—really about one Timothy John Martin, who was arrested for a Middletown, Delaware home invasion incident and charged with first-degree robbery, assault, theft and other offenses. Obviously, it's not me with that unkempt beard:

Meanwhile I was also starring in a video with my buddies Sebastian Ingrosso and Tommy Trash!

Shot on location and in studio in Iceland, and in Guatemala on a two weeks journey that allowed us 9 days of shoot with an extraordinarily dedicated and passionate team. Shot on Alexa and few b-rolls were shot on the Canon 5D MarkIII.

Busy, busy, busy! Here I am being doubted as Still Fastest after setting the pole position (presumably no lap dance ensued after this) time in last year's LeMans P2.

Or finally, literally, you may have received news of my passing out of Milpitas, California:

John Martin (1937 - 2013)
Obituary

John Martin
Jan. 22, 1937 - May 20, 2013
Resident of Milpitas

John Martin, 76 of Milpitas died on May 20th. 2013. John was born on Jan. 22, 1937 in Kansas to Leroy Martin and Ruth Parcell. John is survived by his sons Dan and Steve Martin.

So what does Google Alerts think you've been up to?

Triangle Restaurant Week and Iron Man 3...

2013-06-10T02:21:26Z

~Friday~ Jen and I participated in Triangle Restaurant Week, having dinner at Rey's in Cary.

I arrived at her house at 6:00, where I said hello to Nala, and had one bourbon and diet before we headed out for our 6:30 reservation.

Triangle Restaurant Week is described as follows:

Triangle Restaurant Week (TRW) is a week-long celebration of culinary excellence designed to incorporate the entire premier Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill and surrounding area restaurants.

During TRW, participating restaurants offer special three-course menu options and fixed pricing, a great opportunity for residents and visitors alike to indulge in the area’s finest cuisine! No reservations, tickets or passes required.

Pricing for the event is $15 for a 3-course lunch, and $20 or $30 for a 3-course dinner. Price is for each person and does not include beverages, tax or gratuity.

I chose the yellow highlighted selections, and Jen chose the pink highlighted selections, all for $30.00 per person, plus tax and gratuity:

Soups or Salad

Grilled Chicken and Sausage Gumbo

New Orleans Turtle Soup

Field Greens Salad

Caesar Salad

Entrees

6 oz Filet mignon

Herb Crusted Salmon

Bourbon Street Pork Chops

French Quarter Chicken

Accompaniments

Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Sautéed Mushrooms

Green Beans with Almonds

Desserts

New Orleans Bread Pudding

Crème Brulee

NY Style Cheesecake

Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Cake

Bananas Foster (minimum of two)

Everything was delicious, and I ended up taking home one of my two pork chops, as they were pretty big, and there was plenty of food. We had one drop of mashed potatoes left, and one stuffed mushroom, which we had thrown in the to-go box, too. Why not?

I look forward to doing this again, as it was a great way to try a new place. We looked at the menu on the way out, and I would probably never eat there at their regular prices. The filet that Jen had, alone, on their regular menu is $29.99, which is pretty much what we paid for our entire meal tonight.

After dinner, we went to the 8:40 showing of Iron Man 3 at Regal Crossroads 20.

Synopsis: In Marvel's Iron Man 3, brash-but-brilliant industrialist Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) is pitted against an enemy whose reach knows no bounds. When Stark finds his personal world destroyed at his enemy's hands, he embarks on a harrowing quest to find those responsible.

I hadn't seen Iron Man 1 or Iron Man 2, but Jen assured me it wouldn't matter, and it didn't. Theose kind of movies are not my "cup of tea," but I didn't hate it, and I was in it for the social aspect anyway.

I will give it an A+ in special effects, and with this announcement on May 17, 2013, it is the cup of tea of a lot of people:

The first of the summer superhero films to hit the multiplex, "Iron Man 3" on Thursday crossed the $1 billion milestone after 23 days at the global box office, according to distributor Walt Disney Studios. The film starring Robert Downey Jr. becomes the 16th movie ever to join the elite $1 billion club -- six of which were released by Disney.

My favorite scene was the Robert Downey Jr. character was shirtless, arms out in a "T," getting some minor surgery done.

Oh yeah. I was in it for the social aspect, and for the on-film testosterone. Oink. Oink.

Professional affirmations in my annual appraisal...

2013-06-05T01:28:47Z

~Friday~ I received my annual appraisal today, which didn't contain any surprises, which means the process is working. Any surprises should have come in my interim appraisal back in December, in order to give me time to address any problem areas.

I provide a "Weekly Highlight Report" to my boss in which I list the major activities and tasks that I've done for that week, and I go ahead and categorize them under one of the key responsibilities that are listed in my work plan (first column in the table below). This makes it fairly easy for her to write up my interims and appraisals each year, and it always makes me smile to see exact quotes included in the appraisal that came from my weekly reports.

I have highlighted, in yellow, the feedback that means the most to me.

Key Responsibilities	Results
Technical communications/content creation services	During this fiscal year, John has expanded this key responsibility to include more communication planning processes. John has done an excellent job in helping to develop an INS communication plan, creating key messages for a possible phishing campaign, documenting workflows for our Twitter presence, updating media resources, planning campaigns and continuing the At-A-Glance process. He spearheaded the Earth Day Media Toss event, which was very well received by visitors, especially students. It was also recognized in a photo gallery in the Bulletin. Other notable work included creating Web pages for the University IT Strategic Planning process, reviewing analytics to assist with the redesign of the OIT website, providing various documentation for the Google Service Team, providing articles and maintaining metrics for OIT News, and producing content for the Annual Report.
Provide information and news services for assigned OIT "beats"	There are numerous tasks and communiques that John has worked on the is fiscal year to improve internal and external communications. From initial planning of the Enterprise Document Management Communications to the Identity Management campus presentation and website to the T.O.A.S.T. Awards and Awards for Excellence, John responds to his assigned units with a customer -first attitude. He continues to support his assigned units' (TSS, EAS, SS, OCC and the Google Service Team) projects by advertising their services on our Twitter feed. He has also agreed to participate on the UN CAUSE 2013 Steering Committee, offering his editorial, writing and social media services.
Information services and support, with focus on new and emerging communication-related technologies	John continues to work really hard to maintain a credible and engaging Twitter presence for OIT News. He often creates "hooks" to engage the campus community and to encourage them to participate in central IT's programs and services and to read about what's news in the IT industry. He continues to serve on the Social Media Policy Committee and has provided feedback on the latest versions of two new NC State University-level social media documents: the Social Media Guidelines and the Social Media Policy Regulation. He received many kudos and much appreciation for his popular workshop, "Tweeting for the University," which he also presented to three campus groups. He represented OIT well with his presentation!
Website content management and information architecture	In a team approach, John continues to update the OIT website, providing timely information in the new slider area, Latest News and the Event Calendar. He was also instrumental in the new design of the OIT website, selecting categories/images for its information and new sites and providing analytics to determine how visitors are using the site. He continues to provide content type and navigational pages (including Identity Management project) as well as editorial assistance for various projects.
Promote positive and collaborative work culture with campus constituencies and within OIT	From providing T.O.A.S.T. Awards to best wishes, John continues to encourage and bring his ray of sunshine to OIT staff and others. And they, in turn, have responded. He received a T.O.A.S.T Award from Vanessa Smith "in Recognition of leading OIT's Twitter efforts with grace, clarity, and efficiency." He received good feedback from Gwen Hazlehurst on the Postini Quarantine Reporting communique that Sarah and he worked on: "I just wanted to say it was extremely well written! It was concise but informative and was written in 'plain English.' Nicely done!" From Kristina Kelly on the Media Toss event: "How fun! What a great way to spend the day and to teach folks about recycling. You are an awesome teacher :)."

LeAnn Rimes tugging at my heart strings... and puncturing my tear ducts...

2013-06-03T00:02:50Z

~Thursday~ My friend Bob bought me a ticket to join him to see LeAnn Rimes, who performed tonight with the North Carolina Symphony in the Maymandi Concert Hall at the Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts.

I cried during five of her songs, and this blog entry is about trying to get my head around that.

"Two-time Grammy Award-winner LeAnn Rimes joins the Symphony to perform the songs that made her legendary. She has been a star since the age of 13, when her 1996 breakthrough hit “Blue” pushed to the Top 10 on country charts. She is also known for hits such as “How Do I Live” and “Can’t Fight the Moonlight,” among many others.

I, in fact, fell in love with LeAnn with that first hit at age 13, and I did buy the Blue album, although I must admit I haven't followed her closely over the years.

I didn't know anything about the tumultuous last several years of her personal life. I did have some vague memory of her legal issues with her dad and her manager in 2000, but I didn't know anything about the more recent marital issues of the past several years.

She alluded to them several times during her concert tonight, as she's about to release a new CD this coming week, and some of the—can you say heart-wrenching—songs, a few of which she wrote,"came from that place."

She literally brought me to tears during five of the songs in her playlist tonight. It didn't hurt that we had third-row seats (thanks again, so much, for that Bob), that she told us the "backstory" to each song, and then sang them with an unbelievably pure voice from a heart that has obviously been ripped apart.

Haters: I know she participated in everything that happened to her. She admitted that in front of god and all of us tonight, and it's obvious she hasn't taken any of it lightly and that she not only recognizes her part, but is truly remorseful for it.

Three of the five songs that I cried during are from her soon-to-be released album, which is called Spitfire.

What Have I Done

I've spent some time thinking about what it is in this song that brought me to tears. Of course, part of it was the incredible emotion with which she sang it, and with one of those voices that sound so perfect in the moment that you think, "My god, music is an amazing thing and such a gift to humanity." But enough about her.

What did it for me, I think, was invoke the recognition, admission, and acceptance of the part I played in the "What have I done?" moments in my life to-date—some of which include coming out to my wife of sixteen years, and the actual final discussions around ending the long-term relationships in my life, of which there have been, essentially, three so far.

Borrowed

As in the last song, LeAnn sang this with such feeling and amazingly pure tone quality that you couldn't not be moved, but in me, it stirred the universal—I suppose—emotions of unrequited love, what it feels like to not only want someone who doesn't want you back, but to want someone that you can't have, and the thought of someone experiencing those emotions about you for any amount of time.

During this song, in particular with regards to these lyrics in it,

Do you tell her that you love her like you do me?
Do you make love to her the way you make love to me?

I also thought about Reba's Does He Love You, which I absolutely love.

And this is the third crying culprit for me from her upcoming CD:

Who We Really Are

Did you listen to the song? Such an amazing voice. And so much stuff in it for me.

First of all, any song that touches on "speaking your truth" goes right to my core—because for such a long part of my life, I didn't. And because of that, almost on a daily basis really, I am thankful that I did not spend my entire time here not having lived my authentic life.

When you speak the truth that you used to hide
Seems like you're crossing to the other side
But then I follow you so you're not alone
Then I wrap my arms around you and take you home
And say it's okay, it's okay if love is that hard
That's how we find out who we really are

The other thing that was so poignant about this song, was that in its introduction, LeAnn shared that she hasn't been very successful in getting through it without crying, so she wanted to warn us about that ahead of time. And she did get overcome with emotion, particularly when singing the "And say it's okay, it's okay..." lyrics in each stanza, so that was incredibly moving as well.

So, that's the end of the songs that tore me up that are on the album being released next week. I can't wait to own it.

The other two songs that moved me to tears were Hallelujah and Amazing Grace.

She did Hallelujah much like in this video, sitting on the floor with her accompanist on the guitar: [If you listen to it, move the slider to 1:06 to pass the chit-chat with the audience]:

My tears from this song stemmed from the sheer emotion and purity of tone exuded while she sang it.

And finally, Amazing Grace. I almost always cry when I hear this song sung as beautifully as LeAnn did it, because it always reminds me of when it was sung at my friend Milton's funeral, and in particular when the phrase, "Was blind, but now I see," was sung, since Milton was blind, making it extra poignant.

Whew. Good night.

And thank you, Bob, for this gift that I'll cherish for a long, long time, and for the gift in my life that you are.

The technological and rhetorical challenges of another voice, or two...

2013-05-27T20:33:21Z

On Friday, May 17, I began a six-day stint of watching my friend Bob's two—most gentle, beautiful, and sweet—Cocker Spaniels, Frances and Vincent.

I decided to create a Facebook page for them, and then request that he be their friend—as a fun way for him to keep "in touch" with them while he as gone, as he is so dearly devoted to them.

This was an interesting experience from two perspectives—a technological perspective and a rhetorical perspective.

Technological

Creating the page
- On the Facebook page I created, I first put in "Frances&Vincent" for a first name and "McVeigh" for the last name, and Facebook returned an error that said something to the effect of, "Invalid character in First Name field."
- I replaced "Frances&Vincent" with "Frances and Vincent," and then I got an error message to the effect of, "It looks like you are trying to create a page for more than one person. Facebook only allows individual pages."
- Finally, I tried "FrancesVincent," which worked.
- My next challenge was the birthdate field. I knew that making them under 21 would add potential problems down the road, possibly with things I post and with friend requests, so I chose 25 for their age, even though Frances is 13 and Vincent is 8.
- And, finally, I had to choose a gender, which was annoying, because they are "one of each." I deferred to the older Frances, and chose female.
Logging into the page
- On one of my computers, using two incognito Chrome browser windows, I was able to log in simultaneously to both my personal Facebook page, as well as FrancentVincent's Facebook page. On another of my computers, I had to log out of one before I could log into the other one.
- I really liked the password I came up with for FrancesVincent's account. :-)
Requesting friends
- At one point, the FrancesVincent page got a slew of suggested friend requests, which I knew were initiated by one of Bob's friends that had become a friend of the FrancesVincent pages. I thought they were friend requests from the people that person had suggested be friends of the FranceVincent page, so I clicked on all of them, thinking I was approving their friend requests. However, what they really were were suggested friends for FrancesVincent to request friendships of, so what I had actually done was send friend requests to all of those people, which I wouldn't have done had I realized what was really going on.

Rhetorical

Managing "voices"
- I needed to decide on a way to indicate who was talking at a given time, so I decided to preface status updates and comments with "[F&V]" when they were saying something together, and then "[F]" and "[V]" for Frances and Vincent, respectively, when they spoke separately.
- I went back and forth as to whether I wanted to put their thoughts in quotes or not, finally deciding to do it. I corrected updates and comments many times, because I often forgot to include the quotation marks.
- I tried to have Vincent say things that I thought he might say, based on what I know about his character, and vice-versa with Frances, but that was hard to do, as we really don't know what dogs would say if they could talk. At the very least, I tried to repeat a couple of things that each had previously said to make it sound more like "their voice."

"Liking" posts
- It got a little confusing "liking" posts and comments at times, as sometimes I wanted to like comments made by friends of FrancesVincent on FrancesVincent's page, both by me and by FrancesVincent, so I had to like them from the FrancesVincent account, and then go login to my own account and like them from there, as well.
- It was most confusing when I wanted to like FrancesVincent comments, and vice-versa, because, of course, it was "me" doing it in both cases, and I just had to remember, "Okay, which account am I logged into right now, and who am I liking whose comments or postings right now.

Over all, this experience was a lot of work, but fun and an interesting learning experience as well, and it seemed to bring a lot of smiles to a lot of people's (even if some of them only virtual) faces.

A fan fiction obituary...

2013-05-27T19:30:54Z

The Iron, 78, passed "Gone" on Sunday, May 26, 2013 after passing "Go" for the last time on February 6, 2013 as a result of a forced retirement after a long and lustrous career with Parker Brothers.

Making a smooth entrance onto a board already monopolized by a number of other tokens, Flatiron, as he was originally called, pressed on to become one of the regulars, by loosening the ties between the long chains of molecules that exist in polymer fiber materials.

Depressed since February, Iron wrinkled up his nose at the travesty of his American Idol-like demise, as Monopoly fans from 120 countries participated in the first-ever online vote for which of the game tokens to replace. Depressed, but eternally grateful for the impassioned pleas fans made on Facebook to save him from forced retirement, he once lamented, "Retirement will take all of the steam out of me."

Iron was preceded in death by appliance family members sad iron, box iron, charcoal iron, ox-tongue iron, slug iron, and gusing iron, as well as fellow Parker Brother colleagues Lantern, Purse, Rocking Horse, Sack of Money, Man on Horseback, and Canon.

Iron is survived by what those currently monopolizing the board for Parkers Brother call themselves, "The Great 8": Wheelbarrow, Battleship, Racecar, Thimble, Shoe, Scottie Dog, Top Hat, and Cat.

Although on an emotional roller coaster since the beginning of the year, toward the end, his emotions were pretty flat. The critical care nurses said that, in the end, his was the flattest flatline they'd ever been pressed to deal with.

No memorial service will be held as Iron was immediately replaced by Wrinkle Release—and "the Cat," of course.

Last Night...

2013-05-23T20:17:19Z

~Tuesday~ Also on that list of movies that were billed as "the best movies you never saw" that I mentioned in yesterday's bog entry was a movie called "Last Night."

Bob also had that one ready for me to watch this week, and I watched it tonight.

Synopsis: Joanna (Keira Knightley) and Michael Reed (Sam Worthington) are in a successful and happy relationship. They are moving along in their lives together until Joanna meets Laura (Eva Mendes), the stunningly beautiful work colleague whom Michael never mentioned. While Michael is away with Laura on a business trip, Joanna runs into an old but never quite forgotten love, Alex (Guillaume Canet). As the night progresses and temptation increases, each must confront who they really are.

My thoughts and observations about the movie:

I saw Kiera Knightley in Pride & Prejudice and in Anna Karenina, both in which I liked her very much. She was okay in this movie, but for some reason her smile got on my nerves in most of her scenes. And that was a lot of scenes.

Sam Worthington was an absolute doll-baby in this. I wanted to kiss him as bad as "Laura" did.

I can't quite put my finger on why I didn't like this movie more than I did. It might have had something to do with the amount of total time that the actors were on camera without speaking—presumably just thinking and deciding and wondering. There was a sort of ennui about their characters, and their lives, really.

I did really like how it ended, though—the very last camera shot.

Prime...

2013-05-21T19:45:56Z

~Monday~ Several weeks ago now, I came across a list of movies that were billed as "the best movies you never saw," and after looking through the list, I asked my friend Bob if he would check to see if five of them were available through Netflix.

He went ahead and ordered two of them, making sure they would be available the week while I was watching Frances and Vincent while he was at a nursing conference in Boston.

I watched the first of them tonight: Prime, starring Meryl Streep, Uma Thurman, and Bryan Greenberg.

Synopsis: A career driven professional from Manhattan is wooed by a young painter, who also happens to be the son of her psychoanalyst.

My thoughts and observations about the movie:

Meryl Streep is one of those actors—not unlike Maggie Smith and Judy Dench—whom I enjoy in just about everything I see her in. This film was no exception.

Bryan Greenberg was just delicious to look at in this. I'm not aware of having ever seen him before.

I was absolutely cackling in the scene where Uma Thurman's character is talking to Meryl Streep's character during a therapy session, a portion of which is shown at 1:15 into the trailer (above). Hysterical.

I would definitely recommend this as a Netflix choice for a movie night. With that said, as with all things based on personal opinion, YMMV.

Mostly Social Book Club and Salon XXXVII...

2013-05-21T12:40:50Z

~Sunday~ Today was both Mostly Social Book Club and Salon.

Mostly Social Book Club met at the Crossroad Panera in Cary, and we discussed A Fault in Our Stars by John Green, which everyone had finished except Sharon, who ironically, was the person who recommended this book.

It's my turn to pick our next book, and I've decided on The Great Gatsby. Janet is the only other one of us who has already read it, so that's good.

From book club, it was off to Salon, which tonight was held at "Salon Headquarters," as Kim was in town for a "face-to-face" meeting. Here are the agenda items I care to share with my answers to the ones for which I had answers:

Salon XXXVII
Salon Headquarters
Sunday, May 19, 2013, 7:00PM

Report on John's Quantified Self Meet-up. [Sarah]
- I shared what I presented about and about the other presentation that was given besides mine.

John's "A Victim Weighs In" story. [Sarah]
- I shared the comment that I received to http://dailyafirmation.livejournal.com/1039888.html?nc=2#commentsa blog entry that I made about serving on a jury in 2001 and putting a guy away for 40 years. The comment was from one of the victims of that crime.

Some students want their Deans fired after poor showing in the U.S. News rankings (http://abovethelaw.com/2013/03/some-students-want-their-deans-fired-after-poor-showing-in-the-u-s-news-rankings-and-one-head-thats-already-rolled/) and (spoiler alert) my rant on misplaced blame and systemic helplessness. [Brad]
- This is quite the dilemma and a mess. I don’t know enough about the academy to know who really should take the fall, so I look forward to Brad’s rant. :-)

Report on Sarah's TEDxNCSU experience. [John]

Do you have a personal or professional "list" of things you try to do each day? If so, what are two or three representative items on your list? This author does, and she makes me feel very lazy: http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130326165036-7668018-10-things-to-do-every-workday [Brad]
- Lots of thoughts and observations about those ten items specifically, and the idea in general:
  - That list seems kind of long, and it made me wonder if that includes everything the person has to do; because if not, it doesn’t seem like it would leave much time to do anything else.
  - A lot of those things are Covey Quadrant II things—important, but not urgent.
  - "Send two emails to touch base with old colleagues." At 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year, that’s a lot of old colleagues; 520 to be exact.
  - "Check in with each team member on their progress." Can you say "Helicopter boss?"
  - I have seen, "Have a short non-work related conversation with every employee," fail. It can be awkward, and arouse dread in some employees. I think a better goal would be: "Have a short non-work related conversation with every employee if I actually have something to talk about with them."
  - The, "Take a full minute to appreciate what I have and how far I’ve come" item is about as close to a list that I have called, "10 Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day," which I definitely don’t do daily. They are:
    - Have I made certain that those I love feel loved?
    - Have I done something today that improved the world?
    - Have I conditioned my body to be more strong, flexible, and resilient?
    - Have I reviewed and honed my plans for the future?
    - Have I acted in private with the same integrity I exhibit in public?
    - Have I avoided unkind words and deeds?
    - Have I accomplished something worthwhile?
    - Have I helped someone less fortunate?
    - Have I collected some wonderful memories?
    - Have I felt grateful for the incredible gift of being alive?
Displaying the Confederate flag http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/03/29/confederate-flag-nc/2036121/ [Sarah]
- I think it should only be displayed in a history museum in context.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/us-news-blog/2013/mar/31/cesar-chavez-google-doodle-easter Easter vs. Cesar Chavez. Really. [Sarah]
- Conspiracy theory, conschpiracy theory! I have to say that, early on—at the beginning of the second paragraph in fact—an "unreliable narrator flag" went up for me, and the ethos of the article plummeted.

Citing Sarah Egan Warren (Tedx, 2013), "And we know that life is not always sparkly, life is difficult sometimes, it's heartbreaking, and sometimes it's not that much fun. So I try to hold onto this idea that life is not always tutus and tiaras, when things are going poorly and when things are going well.... I hold onto this and think, if I can slog through these moments, I'm going to come out on the other side and there's going to be a tutus and tiaras moment at the end. Do you believe that, if you slog through the heartbreaking moments (life metaphor), that you'll come out on the other side and find tutus and tiaras moments? Yes, no, examples? [Brad]
- I do! I read this in the context of the better you feel after accomplishing something, the harder it was to accomplish.

Truth? or "Wanh..wanh..waaah?" Teacher’s resignation letter: ‘My profession... no longer exists’ http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2013/04/06/teachers-resignation-letter-my-profession-no-longer-exists/ [John]
- It seemed like a reasonable assessment to me, and it was interesting in juxtaposition to Brad's "Let's fire the deans" article. Overall, I see the mess our education system in right now as a wicked problem. And I don't mean it's from Boston.

After reading the "get your shit together" letter John shared, I wondered, what's the most outrageous assumption made by one of your students (or work colleagues) that defied minimum standards for adult behavior? Let's trade war stories! [Anna]
- In one of my grad school classes, the professor told us that our final project would be to create a website, and then he stepped out of the room. While he was gone one of the students in the class declared, "I think I'm just going to have to pay someone to do my website. I just don't have time to do that." I thought, "Pay? Did she just say she was going to pay someone to do it? As in, hire someone? As in, who has time for this school stuff, I'm going to sub-contract it out? Did she just say that matter-of-factly, out loud?"

PDA. Thoughts, experiences, and locales (inspired by John's FB post: "I'm hoping some of my straight friends can help me understand this. What are some of the reasons a straight couple would go to a gay (or prominently gay) establishment and proceed to lip lock and rub all over each other? #SeekingToUnderstand -- at The Borough.)" [Kim]
- I wanted to hear what "meaning" other people might assign to such a scene, as I felt quite certain mine was just that, mine, and probably said more about me than it did them.

“They" often say that high school, or college, are "the best years of your life." Was that true for you? If not, can you identity a year, or more, that resonate as the best year(s) of your life? Or are you quite certain they are yet to come? {John]
- The best year of my life to-date is the year after I came out, which was in 1994, when I was 35 years old. I don't see it getting any better than that, particular because being healthy is a large criterion of my happiness, and I only see my health deteriorating as I age.

Name the six people (dead or alive) who you'd like to invite to an intimate dinner party. (Excluding Salon members). [John]
- Barbra Streisand, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Hillary Clinton, Ben Cohen, Ellen DeGeneres, Oprah Winfrey

Awardy Redux [John]
- I gave the award to Brad for the most heartfelt forum post, and for his goal to put at least one item on the agenda each month, and for consistently achieving that goal.

Downtown Raleigh's first Food Truck Rodeo...

2013-05-13T11:39:11Z

~Sunday~ I was up at 4:30 after going to bed at 10:30, waking up and not being able to fall back asleep. I love being up early on the days I can manage it, but obviously not enough to get my ass to bed earlier to make it happen more often.

The gym opens at 7AM on the weekend, and I got there just after 7:00. I think there were only five other people in there. I did ab work—120 crunches and 90 sit-ups, my lower body workout (lifting a total of 60,000 pounds, but who's counting), and 30 minutes on the treadmill for a 550-calorie burn. It was great to have all of that done before 9:00!

In the early afternoon, I headed downtown for today's Food Truck Rodeo.

I parked at the Morgan/Dawson deck and arrived at the R-Line stop in front of The Borough at 2:00. There was only one bus running, but it arrived within 5-10 minutes.

Fayetteville Street Mall was jam-packed with folks for the 40-truck Food Truck Rodeo going on today. The weather was phenomenal, and the atmosphere was festive.

I ate at three trucks:

At Sarge's Chef on Wheels, I spent 90 minutes waiting for a Caribbean Jerk Tortilla. Yes, ninety minutes—40 waiting in line to order and another 40 for my order to be ready.

It was phenomenonally good, but I'm not doing that again. I'll watch for the truck around town and go when it's not at the rodeo.

Next, I had a Monte Cristo sandwich from the La Farm Bakery truck. It was good, but not great, and particularly for the $8 price, I wouldn't have it again.

And, finally, on a whim really, because the truck was the last one I passed on my way out of the area, and the price was so cheap, I had two tacos from Captain Poncho's truck.

There's a reason they're only $2. They were tiny.

I picked up the R-Line and rode it back to the stop in front of The Borough, where I had a couple of drinks.

After 45 minutes or so, Joe joined me there, until I left about an hour after that.

I stopped by the grocery store on the way home, and then did a little food prep for the upcoming week's lunches, before retiring early to read a little more of Steve Jobs.

It didn't take long until it was lights out, though, since I'd been up since 4:30.

Ft. Lauderdale Vacation—Returning Home

2013-05-05T19:17:31Z

~Sunday~ I was up at 6:00, showered, packed, and was doing one last check of all the drawers to make sure I hadn't left anything in any of them.

Although I was pretty sure I hadn't put anything in the nightstand drawer, I opened it to check it anyway, and squealed when I saw this in it:

You might be in a gay guest house if there's a dildo where your Gideon should be.

Joe met me downstairs at 7:00 and since the office didn't open until 8:00, we put our room keys in the drop box, and then hailed a cab for the airport.

When we got to the airport, Southwest had had a "system-wide outage," so things were a bit chaotic. None of the kiosks were working, so everyone had to get in the line to see a check-in agent, regardless of your situation.

After moving halfway through the line, the kiosks came back up, and Joe and I got out of line and checked in with those, which thank goodness, actually worked.

A little while after being at the gate, Joe had gotten in line to get some coffee at Dunkin' Donuts, and then the gate agent came on the loudspeakers saying, "Hello. It's Pam again," as if we were all old friends.

She then went on, in this very folksy chat to say that our flight (which was going to Raleigh-Durham via a short layover in Tampa) might be oversold and that they might need a few people to give up their seat, and that she knew several people were going to Raleigh-Durham, and that they'd be offering a $100 voucher if anyone who was, would wait for the next flight, which a little less than an hour later and a direct flight, and if anyone would be interested in that to come up to the check-in area.

I was the second one in line, as I was standing right near the check-in area. She took the guy's name in front of me, and then mine, and when I told her I was traveling with Joe, she said, "I'll just put a little 2 after your name, as I might only be able to offer one of you the voucher."

"That's fine," I said.

Well, after a lot of drama, Joe and I ended up being "pulled back" from halfway down the jetway to board, where I received a $188 voucher, and we both were put on that next, direct flight.

We had an uneventful flight back, with a seat between us, and Jen picked us up at Terminal 1 at a little after noon.

Back home, I found some flowers from Bob in a vase on my kitchen table, and a heart-warming card from Robert noting the passing of what would have been our 11th anniversary. My heart was full.

Joe and I met later at The Borough, where we had dinner and a few drinks.

After that, we went to Flex, where karaoke was going on, but neither one of us was into it at all, and we left after one or two drinks. I'm so glad I took tomorrow off!

The 2013 MICU yard sale and Twanda's graduation party...

2013-05-05T16:27:58Z

~Saturday~ I was up at 6:00, and I put the filling in the deviled eggs, before showering and heading over to Bob's for the 2013 MICU Yard Sale. Their MICU (Medical ICU) sale was part of the larger Mordecai Community Sale (as it is every year) that was going on today.

I stopped at Krispy Kreme on the way to pick up two dozen doughnuts for the volunteers working the sale today. The "Hot Doughnuts Now" light was on, so I got a dozen of those "just glazed" ones, and then another dozen of a mixed variety.

I arrived at about 7:10 and several of Bob's colleagues were still bringing things out of his house and setting them out in designated areas about the yard. Here's a shot of the yard at one point during the morning:

Bob really puts a tremendous amount of his energy into this event each year, most of it in preparation for the event—and especially in the week or two before the event when lots of people are dropping off donated stuff that he gets to price and store in his home until the event.

But that's not to say he's not one of, if not the, busiest person on "sale day." Here he is handling something that's come up during the day:

I mostly sat on the porch with Vincent and Frances, commanded the music (which amounted to putting on a playlist with 200+ songs on it), and directed people, usually to Bob or Joyce who were usually the ones working the "floor," whenever anyone asked me for the price of something, assuming that I had something to do with this sale, since I was sitting on the front porch.

I saw a lady pick up a book I had donated and when she asked me the price for it, I tried to be personable, about which I posted on Facebook later:

To a lady buying my 1000 Places to See Before You Die book, I said: "I've been to three places in this book," to which she replied, "I don't go nowhere but Topsail Beach." "Well, there's a 1000 more places you'll never go," I thought handing it to her. #PrettySureTopsailsNotInThatBook

I did help put the remaining stuff back into the garage at the end of the day and helped count the proceeds of the day, which were very good. Congratulations Bob, and the MICU!

After that, Bob, Vincent, Frances, and I had lunch at my place, to which Vincent rode with me, and Frances rode with Bob—presumably their first time traveling somewhere in separate vehicles. Bob and I enjoyed black-peppercorn-marinated turkey burgers, some deviled eggs, and a cold vegetable salad with toasted sesame soy and ginger dressing.

I got in a 30-minute nap before showering again and heading out to Twanda's graduation party, which was a large, large time. There were 50 or 60 people there, including a few of my work colleagues. And there was a ton of delicious food!

Twanda used to work with us and left last year when she got accepted into the Masters of Science in Analytics degree program, which is an accelerated Master's program that completes in one year. This party was to celebrate her completion of that and her new job working at SAS in Cary. I can't think of a more deserving person for these achievements. Twanda is quality people.

I'd brought my bottle of Blanton bourbon with me, which I received last year from a work colleague in appreciation for an edit on her dissertation, and I was happy to find that it was such a "conversation piece" and "friend maker" at the event. A lot of people had "a taste of happiness," but I drank a good portion of the bottle myself.

I had a great time there, in spite of hugely overeating (which was no one's fault but my own—well, maybe the Blanton's to some extent), which I will pay for over the next several days.

At home, I took a two-hour nap, after which I showered yet again today, and then met Joe and Bob out at Flex, where it was "Beard Bash" night. Whatever.

Still feeling the effects of being "over-served" earlier, I only had one drink there, and we left at a little before 12:30, mercifully, before the beard contest started.

Ft. Lauderdale Vacation—Day 4

2013-05-03T20:06:30Z

~Saturday~ I was up at around 8 or 8:15, since I sent directly to bed when we got home last night, and I was out within minutes of my head hitting the pillow. I started off the morning with the standard complimentary breakfast on the deck near and below my room, which by now has become our de facto breakfast spot.

I was behind two guys in the breakfast line, and they walked in front of me all the way to our spot and took the table we usually sit at, so I took the "high boy" next to it. At one point, I posted this Facebook comment about one of them:

The way the guy sitting on the deck next to me is phlegm-hacking, I predict he's just minutes away from lighting up a cigarette after his breakfast. #NotHusbandMaterial

Joe wasn't up yet, so I sat alone there—enjoying my breakfast and catching up on Facebook—until they eventually left, and then I moved to that table they had vacated before Joe came down.

I started drinking whisky and diet coke right at noon, as I'd bought a 1.75 liter bottle of Canadian Club that I needed to finish up before leaving tomorrow. :-)

Bourbon O'Clock

Later in the afternoon, Joe and I walked to get some lunch, and we passed this car, as we had all week, and I once again thought of dan4behr:

We decided to have lunch in an McSorley's Beach Pub that was near the liquor store that we went to used to, but when we got to the bar, the bartender told us that they don't serve food at all in the place.

"I would recommend you go over to The Parrot Lounge to eat. They have great food there. Don't be fooled by the Red Dog Cantina when you go by it. It looks nice, but their food is terrible. It's a big tourist trap."

To which Joe replied, "Oh, we ate there yesterday."

With only a slightly embarrassed expression, she asked, "Oh. Did you like it?"

We both indicated that what we had was pretty good. Yeah.

That drama aside, we did indeed eat at The Parrot Lounge, and I had their Angus Cheeseburger, which was outstanding.

Before heading back to the resort, we stopped by Subway and bought sandwiches to eat either before heading out to the bar tonight, or once we got back.

We waited for just a few minutes for a supposed "Party Bus" that the Worthington House had just signed up with to serve the resort, but it was the "maiden" ride, and it wasn't clear when it would arrive, so after about 10 minutes, we decided to catch a cab instead. Our destination tonight was Scandals Saloon, where it was Country Night, and they had line-dancing and two-stepping.

Shortly after arriving there, my sister Vivian checked in on Facebook in a bar in San Francisco with a picture of her bourbon drink, so I posted this one:

with a coast-to-coast virtual toast!

We had a fun night here. The people were friendly. I was able to do 6 or 7 line dances that they did they same way we do them in Raleigh, so that was a ton of fun. Capturing the ones I remember for posterity: Tush Push, Boot Scootin' Boogie, Reggae Cowboy, Chill Factor, Cruising, Dizzy, and the Barn Dance.

I asked a big, strapping, cowboy to two-step with me, and I got the most eloquent "no" that I've ever heard, "Oh, I'm sure there are a lot of guys here who would dance with you." He generously left off the obvious, "But I'm not one of them."

We talked to a brother (Ruben) and sister (Lucy), who were sitting at the bar, and were real nice.

We left there not too late, as we had to be up pretty early for our flight back tomorrow. I ate the hell out of my Subway sandwich when I got home.

A humorous—and at times poignant—play at Manbites Dog Theater: The Homosexuals

2013-05-03T15:28:28Z

~Thursday~ Tonight I attended the preview performance of Manbites Dog Theater's current production, The Homosexuals.

Synopsis: When Evan, a young gay man, first arrives in the city, he encounters a group of friends who welcome him into their family and change his life in ways he could never have imagined. A sexy and funny tale for anyone who has ever fallen in love with a friend.

I thoroughly enjoyed this play, which spans a ten-year period, from—2000 to 2010—with its story being presented in a reverse chronological order, thus:

THE HOMOSEXUALS

ACT I

2010: Peter
2008: British Mark
2006: Michael

~Intermission~

ACT II

2004: Tam
2002: Mark
2000: Collins
The play runs about two hours, including that intermission.

There were so many themes touched on in this play, which quite frankly, is the hallmark of all plays staged by Manbites Dog Theater company. Theirs are plays that make you think. And think again. And think some more—days afterward.

Here are some of the themes explored that stood out for me, none of which contain any spoilers:

Friendships
- Friendship in general ("Friends are people who are there")
- Friendship among gay men in general
- Friendship between gay men who are both friends and having sex with each other
- Friendship between gay men who are exes
- Friendship between straight people and their exes
- Friendship between gay men and straight people
Being out

Being good at whatever—and whoever—you are

Monogamy in relationships (or not)

Keeping secrets (and not)

Marrying for "benefits" (both literally and figuratively)

The "rules of engagement" between gay men and their "fag hags"

Penis size, seeing penises, and the power of the penis over us. (Note: No actual penises were hurt, or are seen, in the production of this play. But go see it anyway.)

Weight and body image

Internalized homophobia

Being rejected by family

AIDS

I'm happy to say that the last two themes are only, really, lightly touched on, which to be honest, was a relief. It's not that those two things aren't important, haven't had a huge impact on a lot of gay people's lives, or aren't still happening, it's just that they've been done—a lot—in both plays and film.

The play opens tomorrow night, Friday, May 3, at 8:15, and runs through Saturday, May 18. It'd make a great "date night." Heck, take your ex.

For the complete performance schedule, a short video ad for the show, the actors performing in it, and for information on how to purchase tickets, visit Manbites Dog Theater: The Homosexuals.

The hasselback potato recipe experiment...

2013-05-02T00:03:32Z

~Wednesday~ I've seen this "recipe" floating around Facebook for a couple of weeks now, so I decided to try it tonight. Here's how it's "billed" on Facebook:

Here's the blow-by-blow of how it worked out for me:

I was afraid it was going to be a lot harder to cut than it actually was, so that was good. The only difficulty was knowing how far down to cut, and in retrospect, I could have cut deeper, which I ended up doing toward the end. I also cut several of them so thin that the slice broke off halfway down or so. I just left those "loose" pieces right where they would have been had they stayed intact. Here's what it looked like when I was done cutting it:

And here's what it looked like after I drizzled the olive oil on, smeared the butter on, and salted (I used regular salt, since I didn't have any sea salt) and peppered it:

At about the 30-minute mark, of the 40-minute cooking time, I took this snapshot of the progress: [Note: Yes, I know the oven's dirty. Reason #567 to live alone—not being nagged.]

And, finally, here's what it looked like after 40 minutes:

So, my thoughts and observations:

As these things usually go, it looked better than it tasted. With that said, it was good enough that I'd do it again.

Although it looks pretty crispy, the centers of the slices were still a little firm. I think the next time, assuming I use the same size potato, I might cook it at 400° instead of 425° and cook it for 50 or 60 minutes instead of 40.

To that end, after eating about a third of it, I put it in the microwave for 1.5 minutes, and it was much betterafter that.

Over all, though, obviously, I liked it:

Ft. Lauderdale Vacation - Day 3

2013-04-27T18:04:13Z

~Friday~ I was up at about 10:00 this morning, and had breakfast on the deck by my room, which Joe and I have dubbed as "our private Idaho."

I started drinking right at noon, and pretty much kept a buzz on for most of the afternoon, sitting by the Alcazar pool in the shade on my laptop, while Joe took in the sun poolside.

We had a late lunch / early dinner at the Red Dog Cantina, where we split a Queso and Chips appetizer, as well as a Crispy Calamari appetizer. For our entries, I had their Santa Fe Chicken Salad (hold the beans) and Joe had their Burrito Perro.

It was also Happy Hour, with buy one get one free beer and well drinks—which we, of course, took advantage of.

We stopped at a little grocery store, where I bought a bag of Doritos for drinking munches back at the resort, and an ice cream sandwich for tonight's dessert.

Once home, I took a nap, and then spent about 30 minutes in the Alcazar hot tub, before Joe and I caught a cab back out to Wilton Manors. We had a sketchy cab driver who immediately handed us a business card with his "other" business advertised on it. He also had a huge briefcase between the front seats that he kept closed, with his arm resting on it, the entire time.

Tonight was Bill's Filling Station night, and we saw John there again. We drank there until late in the night, when we crossed the street for some snacks at Alibi's this time having Potato Skins and Chicken Tenders. The sauce for the potato skins was hot—primarily due to a lot of horseradish sauce, I would say.

We caught a non-sketchy cab ride home. I went directly to bed, and was asleep, I'm sure, within five minutes of hitting the pillow.

Ft. Lauderdale Vacation—Day 2

2013-04-27T15:25:17Z

~Thursday~ I got up at 9:30, and the first thing I realized was that I had left my bathing suit out by the hot tub. Fortunately, although surprisingly, it was still wadded up on the edge of the hot tub, in spite of guys doing some work in that area this morning.

Taking advantage of the complimentary breakfast that's offered each day from 8:00 - 10:30, I enjoyed a bagel with cream cheese, a hard-boiled egg, a banana, some yogurt, some orange juice, and a cup of coffee. That's my story and it's sticking to me.

Today was Joe's birthday, and I gave him his birthday present at breakfast, instead of waiting until later in the day, for two reasons:

I have been "working on it" and "keeping it a secret" for almost four weeks now, and I was excited to see his reaction, and

There was a lot of it to get started on eating!

Here's a "fake" look of surprise that I asked for before he actually knew what was under all the wrapping:

And this is when he realized that this box was filled with candy from a tiny, little, sole-proprietorship type shop that makes homemade candy, called Adkins' Candies, in Conneautville, a little town littler than Erie, Pennsylvania, where he grew up.

And finally, a look of genuine appreciation for the gift.

April 1, 2013

Hi Kathy,

I was wondering if you could help me get a box/package together from Adkins' Candies for Joe's birthday. They don't have a website (that I can find anyway) from which to place an order, but I would actually like to buy him some things that he's gotten from them in the past—I think your mom probably did the picking out, but I'm hoping you'll know what he likes from there.

Let me outline [details of options were included below that I didn't include] what I'd like to do, and then you can tell me how you can help me, if you'd be willing/able. Ideally, I would like to have a package sent to him so that it arrives on his birthday at [the guesthouse we'll be staying at].

April 2, 2013

Good Morning John,

What a wonderful idea! Yes, yes, yes I will help. I think our only option is for me to call and place an order for you and then ship it to Florida for you. This is a small little family owned candy shop and I know that they would not do the shipping. I also know that they do not have a credit card machine so I would have to pay with cash. I told you it is small! If fact it used to be a family owned business, a mother (who was 90) and 2 daughters, but in the last few months the mother and one daughter has died. So now the one daughter is doing it all. She is only open on certain days with just a select amount of items but I know if I call and place an order, she would make whatever you want. So will do that and let you know how much it comes to... no problem.

Now the trick for me will be mailing it and having it arrive on his birthday. What day are you getting to Florida and how long are you staying? Just let me know. This is going to be a wonderful surprise for him! We will talk again soon.

Take care,
Kathy

April 2, 2013

You are a gem!

If you would mail it first class on Monday, the 22nd, I think that would work. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, having it wrapped in birthday paper (no bow necessary) under the outside wrap would be BONUS and I'd be forever MORE grateful! (Now I'm getting demanding, eh?) :-)

The USPS website says 2-3 days for first class, and I'll talk to the front desk people about not giving it to him if it arrives Wednesday instead of Thursday. We'll arrive at the guesthouse on Wednesday, 04/24, at around 2:00.

One other thing, in the address that I shared in the first email, would you put "Todd" in parentheses as a middle name on the first line? We're going to do what's in the PostSecret (attached, about a group of ladies who take vacation together every year, and while on vacation they each take on a fake name) and Joe's going to be Todd the whole time we're there, and I'm going to be Nate. :-)

I'll drop a check in the mail to you today! Thanks so much!!! I'm excited! xxoo

April 5, 2013

Dear Nate,

I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that I got Todd's gift yesterday. I will wrap it and mail it when it's time. I think he is going to be so surprised! What a great idea........... he's going to LOVE IT!

Have a great day,
Gigi (I just felt the need to come up with a fake name too!) ;-)

At a little after noon, Joe grabbed a couple of the resort-provided beach towels, and I grabbed an umbrella and a chair—also provided by the resort—and we headed to the beach, which was just two or so blocks away.

We spent an hour there—Joe in the sun, me under the umbrella, reading some of Merry Christmas, Alex Cross.

After that, we had lunch again at Le Marche, today sitting on their outdoor tables facing the ocean. I tried their Parisien, which was described as: butter, ham and Swiss cheese, on a baguette. It was most delicious.

Later in the evening, we caught a cab back to Wilton Manors, where we had dinner at Tee Jay Thai and Sushi. It took a while to be served, but they brought us a complimentary soup—some broth with tofu in it, essentially—which wasn't bad, per se, but wasn't great either. I ate less than half of it.

Joe had some kind of sushi and I had some beef stir-fry. It was good enough, but nothing to write home about, and I probably wouldn't go back there—unless I was with a hot guy and he wanted to, of course. With that said, I didn't at all regret eating there.

On the advice of John, who we met last night at Bill's Filling Station, Georgie's Alibi was the place to be tonight, and it indeed was. It was butts-to-nuts with menses up in there.

We stayed at Georgie's the entire time, and caught a "threes" taxi home when it was time to go. They had two main taxi services serving the areas in which we traveled while there—both with an area code of 954, with one of the rest of their numbers being 777-7777 and the other being 333-3333.

Ft. Lauderdale Vacation—Day 1

2013-04-26T18:06:50Z

~Wednesday~ I got up at 8:00 and packed, showered, had breakfast, and was ready to go by 9:00.

While waiting for Joe and Bob to arrive at 10:00, I read some of Merry Christmas, Alex Cross, starting again from the beginning. I had started it back in January, getting as far as chapter 19, but then my (Games & Learning Design) grad school class started up, and reading for leisure ceased to be a luxury.

Since it had been so long, and it's easy reading, I just started from the beginning again. Not to mention, I have nothing but time now that my class is over.

Bob drove us to the airport, complete with a playlist he had created starting off with "Where the Boys Are"—in an allusion to the all-gay, clothing optional, men's resort in Ft. Lauderdale to which we were en route. That was followed by other songs about vacation, the beach, and boys. So fun, sweet, and thoughtful.

I was not impressed with the signage at the Southwest Airline check-in area at the Raleigh-Durham Airport. Joe and I had both already checked-in online yesterday, and we weren't checking any bags, so we got out of a long check-in line and went straight to security.

There, they told us you have to have a printed boarding pass to go through security. Joe had printed his, but I only had an electronic one, so we went back to the line, which was already long when we'd gotten out of it and was significantly longer when we returned. Not pleased.

When we finally got to an agent she said, "Oh if you're not checking a bag, you could have just stepped up to that kiosk over there and printed your boarding pass instead of waiting in this line. And we were supposed to know this, how???

Once again, for about the 200^th time in a row, I got through security without my liquids—one of which is more than 3 ounces—not being placed in a plastic bag and taken out of my suitcase before going through the x-ray machine. Not sure why it never gets flagged.

We boarded on time, and without incident. As "Todd" and I always do, we immediately started naming the "characters" sitting around us, so we could talk about them freely as we progressed through the flight.

I put "Todd" in quotes, because during this trip, Joe and I—in honor of this PostSecret:

have agreed to call each other Todd and Nate during this entire trip.

Before it was time to "turn off all electronic devices," I sent a quick email to the Worthington Guest House reminding them about our arrival this afternoon, and to not mention a package I had shipped there if it was already there when we arrived.

We arrived at the Worthington at close to 2:00, where Joe and I checked in separately, because we had different rooms. "Scott," the guy checking us in—who put the sugar in gay—was very, very nice, if not the most masculine guy on the planet. Not that there's anything wrong with not being masculine.

I made eye contact with him and the other two guys in the office while Joe was filling out his paperwork, but I didn't get any sense that they knew "I was the guy" who had been sending the emails about the package.

After I completed my paperwork, Scott gave us a tour of the resort, which is actually three separate guest houses connected together by nicely landscaped walkways, and then he showed us to my room. I put my stuff in there and followed him and Joe upstairs to Joe's room to see what his looked like.

After leaving there, I ran back to the office, and as I walked in I said, "Hi. I'm the anal retentive guy with the package in case you hadn't figured that out."

All three of them squealed in unison, "THANK GOD! We thought it was you, and none of us dared say anything!" And all of us had a good laugh about it.

I sent an email to Joe's sister, Kathy, to let her know that I had it in hand, as she was the one who had mailed it there on my behalf.

Pretty much right after getting settled in, we tried to find a liquor store (First things first!) with vague directions from the guys at the front desk, and ended up having lunch first, at Le Marche.

There was a bird caught inside the store, and not too long after we got our food and took our seat, he made a bee-line for the door when it opened and flew out. Joe and I both had their Turkey BLT Panini, which we were both very pleased with.

We eventually found a liquor store, which was staffed by a young kid, who said he was from Lebanon, TN. To which I said, "Bet you're glad to be outta there!" and to which he replied, "Not really! I loved it there." Oops. Such much for my stereotypes.

Next, we stopped in Pops Corn and Yo Mama's Ice Cream shop, because I wanted some ice cream. I didn't like their choices, but while we were in there, one of the salesclerks "up-sold" us some chocolate-laced caramel popcorn.

Back at the resort, we hung out in the pool and hot tub area for the afternoon, and later walked the two blocks back to the beach and had dinner at "The Deck" restaurant. We both had fish & chips, which we were both pleased with.

Later in the evening, we hopped a cab out to Wilton Manors, the "gayborhood" of Ft. Lauderdale, where we started at Georgie's Alibi, where it was Dirty Trivia Night. The emcee's voice was grating as f*ck, and I was glad when the trivia was over.

The questions were of this ilk:

The woman who won the title of world's strongest vagina won it for being able to do what?

Crack a real walnut with her vagina. (As opposed to a fake walnut?)

Lift 30 pounds with her vagina.

Bruise her husband's penis at will. (As opposed to uncontrollably?)

Crush a Red Bull can with her vagina.

We walked across the street to Bill's Filling Station, where the first thing we noticed was the smoke. We knew you could still smoke in the bars here, but since people didn't do it over at Georgie's (they went to an outside area to do it, it seemed), we didn't really think about it when we were over there.

We met a guy named John there, who was from Canada, but who also had a place in Ft. Lauderdale. He gave us the scoop on "where to be when" for our next three days there, and we noted: Alibi's tomorrow night, Bill's Filling Station Friday night, and Scandals on Saturday.

After a few drinks there, we went back to Alibi's, where we had a midnight snack of chips and salsa, chicken tenders, and some French fries.

Our cab ride back was uneventful. And about $14 without tip, which I'm capturing solely for posterity.

OIT's "Media Disposal Toss" at NC State's Earth Day 2013 celebration...

2013-04-17T23:17:45Z

~Wednesday~ Today, as part of my job as a technical communicator in the Office of Information Technology organization at NC State, my department staged a "Media Disposal Toss" event for NC State's Earth Day 2013 event.

Along with other NC State organizations, as well as dozens of non-university organizations, we set up a table on NC State's Brickyard from 10:00 until 2:00, through which hundreds and hundreds of people passed—including faculty, staff, and students—throughout the four hours.

On our table, among other things, we had a box of media consisting of CDs, DVDs, jewel cases, and diskettes that were ready for recycle and some electronics recycling informational pamphlets.

Behind our table, about 15 or 20 feet back, we placed two of campus' new yellow electronics recycle bins, at which people could fling—frisbee golf-style—the media to try to land them inside the bins.

Our "Booth"

Media Available for Tossing

The key messages of our "media disposal campaign" included:

It is now illegal to put electronics in our landfills.

NC State is providing yellow e-Cycle bins around campus for your convenience.

A listing of all the things—highlighting the IT-related things—that can be put in the yellow bins for recycling, which we noted in a fold-out pamphlet we handed out.

My Boss, Rhonda, Showing How to Fling a Jewel Case

Sharing a Laugh with Rhonda over a Handful of "Ammo"

Our "booth" was very popular. In addition to hundreds of participants, we had repeat visitors—both to "play" again themselves, and to bring a friend or colleague back with them to take a turn. Faculty, staff and students, universally, said after throwing a few items, "That was fun!"

And I would estimate that 90% of the students were not aware of the yellow bins, so we did a lot of educating, to boot.

There was Quite the Crowd at Times

They Came In Pairs

They Came Alone

And They Missed a Lot

Some of my favorite sound bites / sight bites of the day included:

This was my "barking" routine as people stepped up to fling the CDs, in particular:
Aim higher than you think, and to the right of the bin, because they drop fast and they curve to the left.

I love "process improvement," and about midway through the four hours the "vertical toss" technique was introduced by one player, which involved holding the CD vertically, and tossing it sort of like you would toss a hula hoop if you were to toss it with a spin to make it come back to you.

So I incorporated that into my spiel about them tending to drop fast and curve to the left, adding:
Some people have found the "vertical toss" technique effective.

Several people asked:
What's the prize if I get it in?

To which I replied:
Glory. And you can't put a price on glory.

And what could they do, but agree. And we did give glory when they made it in—lots of raised victory arms, shouting hoorays, and high-fives.

One student said to me:
"This is a brilliant way to teach what can go in those bins! Was this your idea?"

To which I replied:
"Yes, it was."

And to which he replied:
"Well, you're an AWESOME teacher, then!"

That pretty much made my day right there!

Someone from NC State's Office of Sustainability, who were the sponsors of the overall Earth Day event on The Brickyard, gave us kudos for the popularity of our "booth," and thanked us sincerely for helping them spread the electronics recycling message.

At one point, when we had a lot of CDs all over the place—it was harder than it looked to get them in—a lady stepped up to "play" with her two little boys.

And while they tried to toss a couple of CDs into the bins, she leaned over and whispered to me: "If you ask these guys if they'd like to help you pick up those CDs, they'd love to! They won't do it if I ask them, but if you do, I know they will."

And they did!

Since they hadn't gotten any in when they'd shot the few that they did before picking up all the CDs, afterward I moved one of the bins much closer and they shot several more, and did make a few. They were thrilled. As was I. Win/win!

Jumping for Joy!

And, finally, when the participants were done tossing and before they walked away, I asked, pointing at the yellow bins they'd been tossing at:

Do you know about those yellow bins?

It's against the law to put electronics in the landfills now, so NC State is providing those all around campus to put your electronics in for recycle.

You can put all this stuff (pointing to our piles of CDs, DVDs, diskettes, jewel cases, and a couple of internal computer cards on the table), as well as printers, monitors, keyboards, cell phones, iPods, and batteries in them!

Here's a little pamphlet that lists those and many other things you can put in them. Thanks for playing our game, and for recycling your electronics responsibly!

Teaching

We—my boss, Rhonda Greene and my colleague, Vanessa Smith—enjoyed a welcome change in routine of being in the office, watching everyone have fun, and all the while educating the students, faculty, and staff about electronics recycling.

Many thanks to my colleague, Vanessa, for the fantastic photos!

Free at last, free at last, thank god almighty I am free at last...

2013-04-17T11:08:40Z

~Wednesday~

Today is the 19th anniversary of the day I began—not without trepidation—living my authentic life.

It got better—without question. And quickly.

At the flea market: Kids on leashes, dogs in baby carriages, and whipping your *ss for $3...

2013-04-06T20:12:37Z

~Saturday~ I am not a shopper at all, but I am a writer, and so that's what I mostly did at the flea market today.

I could probably count the times on one hand that I've been to the flea market over all 23 years that I've now lived in Raleigh. Today, it was a "perfect storm" of circumstances that took me there:

A glorious weather day,
A desire to walk for today's cardio commitment, and
A new friend of mine having a booth there.

The method to my madness was to saunter up to where people were standing around, looking at, and talking about things, and then step away to make notes in my iPhone Notes app about what I'd heard. I also took a few pictures over the course of the hour-and-a-half or so that I was there.

Overheard

Vendor barking to potential customer:

Those bulbs last forever!

Kid running by:

Mommy!

Guy to the owner of the booth next to his, as he was returning to it after being gone a bit:

A guy said he'd be back to buy all your stuff.

An excited kid catching up with his family:

Mom! I saw this guitar, and I thought it was perfect!

Lady to the guy she was with, while they were passing me:

They have some sunglasses in that bin over there.

Once you said bin, you lost my interest.

Another kid running by:

Mommy!

A vendor selling sports memorabilia to a customer:

I got two corners in my house—one corner's Giants and the other corner's Jets.

A grown man to someone I didn't see about something I didn't catch:

I would whip your ass for $3.

Snooty-sounding lady, perhaps not really sympathetic to the spirit of a flea market:

If it's not new, I don't want it!

Yet another kid zipping by:

Mommy!

Booth owner talking to a young lady holding one of his items in her hand:

You can have that for a dollar, honey.

For a dollar?

Yeah everything I got's cheap. You don't understand. I gotta sell it. Been hauling this stuff around too long.

Vendor, indicating a customer's t-shirt, and saying to him:

By the way, what branch?

Army.

Marine Corps, here. Thank you for your service.

Daughter to mother hanging up phone:

What did he say when you told him I wanted to get it for him?

He didn't say anything.

Vendor to a customer buying a coffee cup:

And tell them not to wash it in the dishwasher!

Insurance salesman to young man he'd just sold something to:

Go to that website. You'll be excited about what you see.

Vendor to the crowd at large, pointing at a pretty woman walking by his booth:

That's my wife!

Lady, who kept walking by without even looking back, but retorted:

No, it's not!

Two older gentleman, perhaps about a mutual friend:

He takes it hard. Everything that happens to Charles, he takes hard.

Older lady to her husband as they sit on a bench:

What about lunch? Are you hungry?

Okay.

What'a you wanna do, get a hot dog?

Okay.

Are they busy right now?

Vendor to someone looking at his stuff:

You were lookin' at that before, weren't you. Oh. Maybe not. That might have been somebody else.

Kid, being ignored while trying to get his mother's attention:

Mommy! ... Mommy! ... MOMMA!

WHAT, Adam?!?!?

Lady customer responding to a vendor trying to sell her a planter:

I even have a planter at home—that I need to plant something in—that's a cow.

To a dog:

You've been a good girl! Gonna go get in the car? Gonna go for a ride home?

A man about one of his three dogs:

This one's name is Peggy.

Observations

I saw kids on leashes, and dogs in baby carriages.

This song was playing in one of the vendor's booths, and he was singing—incredibly off key—along with it, which I'm pretty sure wasn't drawing in any customers.

I only came close to buying one thing, and that was a book of Jane Austen's Persuasion, about which I'd recently read an article. But it was in a big, thick volume that included three of her other novels, and I didn't want all that.

However, I did like this quote at the booth:

which is hard enough to parse when it's punctuated correctly. What makes people think they can just omit a comma?

I was absolutely stunned that there is evidently a market for these:

But as I stood there, somebody walked by and said:

Oh, they're pretty!!!

And then a couple walked by, and the lady's response to the man's question enlightened me about their market:

What is THAT?"

They're for baby showers."

That last thing I looked at was a huge heap of junk that caught my eye for some queer reason. I only saw one thing that I really liked:

Mental illness in a trio of Helen Reddy songs...

2013-03-17T18:43:06Z

~Saturday~ Today, I drove two hours to Jacksonville, NC to join my sister and her husband, Jeff, to have a 'tween birthdays lunch with my parents. My mom turned 81 on March 1, and my dad will turn 82 on April 30.

On the way, I was listening to one of the playlists put together by DJ 808, which consisted of greatest hits of Helen Reddy.

These three songs came on in a row:

Delta Dawn

Angie Baby

Leave Me Alone

and by that third one, I thought, "Damn. That's a lot of mental health issues permeating those songs."

From Delta Dawn:

She's forty-one and her daddy still calls 'er "baby"
All the folks 'round Brownsville say she's crazy
'Cause she walks downtown with her suitcase in her hand
Lookin' for a mysterious dark-haired man

From Leave Me Alone:

Big ole ruby red dress wanders round the town
Talkin' to herself now, sometimes sittin' down
Don't you get too close now, ruby runs away
Poor ole ruby red dress born on a sorry day

Something hurt that ruby, something she can't bear
Ya look at her real close now, you see a little tear
Her daddy tried to hide it, tried to keep things cool
But something happened to Ruby, she broke down to a fool

And the truly bizarre, all the way through really, Angie Baby:

You live your life in the songs you hear
On the rock and roll radio
And when a young girl doesn't have any friends
That's a really nice place to go
Folks hoping you'd turn out cool
But they had to take you outta school
You're a little touched you know, Angie Baby

Lovers appear in your room each night
And they whirl you across the floor
But they always seem to fade away
When your daddy taps on your door
Angie girl, are you all right
Tell the radio good-night
All alone once more, Angie Baby
Angie Baby, you're a special lady
Living in a world of make-believe
Well, maybe

Stopping at her house is a neighbor boy
With evil on his mind
'Cause he's been peeking in Angie's room
At night through her window blind
I see your folks have gone away
Would you dance with me today
I'll show you how to have a good time, Angie Baby

When he walks in her room,
He feels confused like he's walked into a play
And the music's so loud it spins him around
'Til his soul has lost its way
And as she turns the volume down
He's getting smaller with the sound
It seems to pull him off the ground
Toward the radio he's bound never to be found

The headlines read that a boy disappeared
and everyone thinks he died
'Cept a crazy girl with a secret lover
Who keeps her satisfied
It's so nice to be insane
No one asks you to explain
Radio by your side, Angie Baby

Angie Baby, you're a special lady
Living in a world of make-believe
Well, maybe
Well, maybe

I was so struck by this that I looked up Helen Reddy in Wikipedia to see if she had some connection to mental illness.

The nearest thing—that I could find—to it might be that she was married to a cocaine addict for eight years.